hahaha Its My First Time..

So I am new to this whole blogging thing! One of my close friends and co-workers at the Clinic Megan is on here and I read up on her blog and figured I should start one as well, just kinda get things off my mind and stuff! 2008 has been and interesting and chaotic year for me, so much has changed just in the last month, but I think it has changed for the better! I was with my ex boyfriend for nearly 5 years, and we just split last month on July 4th, funny, i get my independence back on Independence day....it was somewhat mutual but mainly my doing...i was the hardest thing I've ever had to do to, I cared so much about him and his well being that i never wanted to hurt Nick...it broke my heart to break his! I'm one of those kinda people that would rather be unhappy as long as everyone else around me is happy and content! probably a great quality in me, yet a horrible one too, because what about my happiness? Hell, I'm only 22 years old, i need to be happy! And I began to realize that too, i didnt wanna sit back and reflect on my life when I'm in my 30's still just so unhappy wishing I would've done something about it sooner, so I did do something about it....it kinda took nick to almost convince me to do what i needed to do, cuz deep down I think he knew what i wanted and needed before i even did! He didnt want to see me so unhappy anymore! so we went our separate ways, and its not like it was simple, we lived together, bought things like a BIG ASS pillow top bed together and have 3 doggies together! So its kidna like a divorce! I've kept all the doggies cuz I can't trust him to be able to take care of them, because of his work schedule and ummm habits i shall say, I moved out and back in with my parents! It kinda sux to be my age living with the parents but its not too bad really, i get to live there for free and yay for home cooked meals!! =) I just get a lil lonely! if I'm not out with Meg, Shawn & Josh, or Amy I'm at home just chilling in my room with my Lil Sugars, playin around on the internet and talking to Jonathan online on MSN. This hasnt been the easiest transition to make but I'm managing, mainly because my friends have been there to help me through it! So to all my badass friends that have been there for me THANK YOU!! So between the actaul breakup, and all the drama following it for the past month, things seem to be slowing looking up. Nick and I are able to be friends I think and hang out w/o fighthing too much, hes still so sad and emo about it but I can understand that, he did loose a pretty kickass chick! lol! But I'm just ready for him to move on and accept the fact that we really are over this time and i want nothing more than to be good friends, and not fuck buddies like he thought could happen, Oh that pissed me off, really can't believe the nerve he had to ask that...anyways, I am certainly moving on...through all this I became closer to a couple people, Meg is one, we work at the vet clinic together and have both gone through the exact same thing...she broke up with her man just 2 days before my breakup pretty much same circumstances as well, so it was nice that we had each others shoulders to cry on and help each other through it, i love that girl and would do anything to help her out! Yay for vodka and wild turkey huh meg! geez! Also the other person for me the most through this was Jonathan...=) he makes me smile no matter what! he just knew what to say or what to do to make me not think of the breakup or dwell on the drama...i spent every single free moment with that boy from the time of my breakup up til the day he left for Oregon...=( I miss him like crazy and it sux, but i do talk to him like 24/7 online or texting! i honestly didnt think we'd talk this much but we do and it helps! I got really close to him before he left and really attached for that matter as well...its just nice knowing you have someone who is willing to help you, cheer you up, and make ya feel good (in more ways than one, teehee) I love waking up to his sweet text messages, it makes my day brighter! I do miss him like crazy, but hopefully it wont be for too much longer! I'm hopefully going to be booking my vacation today...YAY Oregon here I come! if I do get to go it'll be Aug 27th thru Sept. 2nd. I'm super excited, I've never been to Oregon so it'll be fun to see a new state, plus i get to see the boy again!! woot! yay it'll be movie nights, sunsets, pretty blue rivers, stargazing (which i think is the sweetest cutest text message i've gotten from him, he said when i get there we gotta find a place to just look at the stars!! simple things like that make my heart smile and give me that butterfly feeing in my stomach, a feeling I havent felt in a long ass time). So i'm gonna keep my fingers crossed and hope i get to book that flight today, plus i just wanna get way from this HOT ASS Tx weather...seriously I'm melting over here! Well, I think that pretty much sums up the drama of last month, basically heartbreak, cry, happy times, drunkenness....swimming pool & hot tubs ;), more sadness and booze, happy cuddly time, jon's goin away party, SUPER SADNESS at the airport dropping the boy off, margaritas with meg while we pout, then more drama, then finally calmness and some happiness for the moment....and it'll only hopefully get better....