i hate my brain sometimes.
a freaking horrible day at work yesterday put my brain into overdrive
i cried the whole way home from the clinic
took a hot shower, and just sat under the steaming water, crying.

i'm tired of cryin,
i'm tired of hurting,
i'm tired of pain,
i'm tired of being sick,
i'm tired of being lonely,
i'm tired of living in a dream world,
i'm tired of peoples bullshit,
i'm tired of stuborness,
i'm tired of this,
i'm tired of that,
i'm tired of all the feelings i have that possibly arent returned
i'm tired of trying to think i can help eveyone,
i'm tired of feeling guilty when i shouldn't
i'm tired of wishful thinking,
i'm tired of work,
i'm tired of feeling strongly for some things when i probably shouldn't
i'm tired of feeling depressed.....
i'm tired OF IT ALL!!!

it was a shitty day yesterday and today doesnt seem better, I try and be there for everyone all the time when they need me and when i really need to talk, or vent or just need a shoulder to cry on its not there...i just kinda got really depressed all of a sudden and i'm not feeling any better, i hate being such an emotional girl sometimes, i just have a lot of passion in me and no one to share it with or whatever, i sit at home alone most of the time talking on line to a silly boy i adore and what do i get outta that? i get joy cuz i'm getting to talk to him but i also get pain and heartache cuz thats all it is is just talking over a damn computer, i wanna sit by him and talk to him face to face and hold his freakin hand again.....boo i hate being alone and feeling like this...i dunno what to do anymore i cant be all emo sad like this, i was doin ok until yesterday, everything just feel apart, i was being strong and it just stopped....i'm tired of this! BOO!