it sux that even a funny sitcom show can make you feel worse in ur state of depression. The show is all about friendships, sex, relationships and stuff like that and it just throws my mind in to a whirlwind of mixed emotions...sex, yeah need it badly right now, everyone else around me gets it....well ALOT of it, and its not like there arent a couple ppl i could go to right now and be like 'um yeah i need sex so how bout you help me out in this predicament' but i dont want that meaningless random sex just to get off...but i see a show where a guy does anything to show a certain girl he cares for just how he feels...and i makes me sad cuz i just want that one guy to show me and give me hope.

i heard a line from my show and it really caught my attention...'time spent wishing is wasted time'....man have i wasted alot of time in my life....especailly these past couple weeks....the one thing i really wish for doesnt look like it'll happen anytime soon....but i'm a hopeless wishful person that'll just keep wishing this deep down inside and maybe one day it'll come true....ugh i ran outta mixer for my vodka.....